25种杀手锏帮助你提升个人自信

你有没有这样的时候:遇到了一件事,会想,这个我可能不行吧,这个我做不了,这个还是让给比我更强的人来做吧,还是多听听别人怎么说吧。看似谦虚,其实是不自信呢。想要改变这种情况?一起来看看帮助你提升个人自信的25种杀手锏吧。

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – E.E. Cummings

一旦我们相信自己,我们产生好奇、惊讶、由衷的快乐或者其它一些能够显现出人类精神的状态。——爱德华·埃斯特林·卡明斯

One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.

许多年来,让我不敢去追求梦想的是害怕失败……和没有克服那种恐惧的自信。

It’s something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear?

某种程度上讲,我想这是很多人都面临的问题。关键问题是:如何去克服那种恐惧呢?

By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that’s what I’ve been doing over the years, and that’s what helped me finally overcome my fears, and finally pursue my dreams.

那就不断增强你的自信和自尊吧。虽然没有真正是从这个层面去考虑,这却是我一直努力去实现的,也正是这些让我最终能够克服恐惧去追逐梦想。

I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I know that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I’ve done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success.

毫无疑问,我还有这些恐惧,只是现在我知道我能够战胜它们,知道我可能打破恐惧这堵墙,并超越它。我已经战胜恐惧很多次了,那种胜利感可以为进一步的胜利提供能量。

This post was inspired by reader Nick from Finland, who asked for an article about self-worth and self-confidence:

我写这篇文章的原因是芬兰的一位读者Nick向我要一篇关于自尊和自信的文章。

Many of the things you propose make people feel better about themselves and actually help building self-confidence. However, I would be interested on reading your input in general on this topic. Taking time out for your own plans and dreams, doing things another way than most other people and generally not necessarily “fitting in” can be quite hard with a low self-confidence.

人们所提倡许多事情可能让他们自我感觉良好,事实上也可能帮助建立自信。然而,我感兴趣的是你们关于这个话题的一般想法。对于缺乏自信的人来说,放弃工作去实现自己的计划和梦想,或者会采用异于常人的方法来完成一件事情,都是很困难的。

Truer words have never been spoken. It’s near impossible to make time for your dreams, to break free from the traditional mold, and to truly be yourself, if you have low self-esteem and self-confidence.

真相从来都不会被说出来的。如果没有什么自尊和自信的话,你几乎不可能会有时间去追求自己的梦想,不可能去打破常规,也不可能做真正的自己。

As an aside, I know that some people make a strong distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence. In this article, I use them interchangeably, even if there is a subtle but perhaps important difference … the difference being whether you believe you’re worthy of respect from others (self-esteem) and whether you believe in yourself (self-confidence). In the end, both amount to the same thing, and in the end, the actions I mention below give a boost to both self-esteem and self-confidence.

另外,我知道有些人会把自尊和自信很清楚的分开来,但是在这篇文章里它们是相通的,虽然我知道它们有细微但重要的区别…区别在于你是否相信自己值得别人尊重(自尊)和是否相信你自己(自信)。自尊和自信都将最终等同于同一样事物。最后,我所介绍的以下方法都能使你增加自尊和自信。

Taking control of your self-confidence

掌控你的自信

If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that will change that? Is your self-confidence in your control?

如果你缺乏自信,是否有可能做些事情改变这种情况呢?你能掌控你的自信吗?

While it may not seem so, if you are low in self-confidence, I strongly believe that you can do things to increase your self-confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not have to be reliant on others to increase your self-confidence. And if you believe that you are not very competent, not very smart, not very attractive, etc. … that can be changed.

如果你缺乏自信,我非常相信你能够做一些事情来增加你的自信,虽然表面看上去可能不是这样的。自信不是遗传的,你不必依赖别来增加你的自信。如果你觉得自己不够能干,不够聪明,不够有魅力……这些都是可能改变的。

You can become someone worthy of respect, and someone who can pursue what he wants despite the naysaying of others.

你可以成为一个值得尊敬的人,一个能追求自己梦想的人,即便有别人否定你。

You can do this by taking control of your life, and taking control of your self-confidence. By taking concrete actions that improve your competence, your self-image, you can increase that self-confidence, without the help of anyone else.

你能够通过掌控自己的生活,掌控自信来做来这一点。通过采取具体的行动来增强你的能力,改善你的自我形象,你自己能够增加你的自信,而不需要别人的帮助。

Below, I outline 25 things that will help you do that. None of them is revolutionary, none of them will do it all by themselves. The list certainly isn’t comprehensive. These are just some of my favorite things, stuff that’s worked for me.

以下,我列举了25条方法来帮助你增加自信。它们中没有一条是全新的,也没有一条会自己自动完全。这条清单当然也不是很全面的,仅仅是我最喜欢的、对我有用的一些方法。

And you don’t need to do all of them, as if this were a recipe … pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. If they work, try others. If they don’t, try others.

你也不用做到所有的条款,你将它作为一个配方…挑选那些吸引你的,或许只有几条,然后试一试。如果它们对你有效,就再试试其它的。如果那几条对你没有用,也再试试其它的方法。

Here they are, in no particular order:

以下这些就是,它们并没有进行特别的排列:

1. Groom yourself. 装扮自己。

This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.

这似乎看上去显而易见了,但洗澡或是剃胡须后给你自我感觉上带来的自信和自我形象上的改进却是很神奇的。一直以来,你就是通过这样一件小小的事情来彻底的改变自己的情绪。

2. Dress nicely. 穿戴好些。

A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

这是上面一条必然产生的结果……如果你穿戴好些,你的自我感觉会很好,你会觉得自己很成功,很得体,已经准备好来应对这个世界。这里,穿戴好对于每个人来说是不一样的…你不必穿500美元一套的衣服,但可以穿很好看也很得体的休闲服饰。

3. Photoshop your self-image. 修改你的自我形象。

Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.

自我形象对于我们来说意义重大,比我们认为的重要得多。我们在脑海里都有一个自我形象,它决定了我们自信的程度。但这个形象不是固定改变的,你可以改变它的。多使用你的脑海中的图像修改功能,用在你的自我形象上。如果你脑海中的自我形象不是很好,就修改一下吧。找到为什么你那样看待自己,并找个方法解决它。

4. Think positive. 积极思考。

One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.

二年前,当我学习跑步时,我学到的一件事情是如何用积极的想法来取代消极的想法(见下一条)。如何通过这样改变自己的想法来使好的事情发生。就是使用这样一个小小的技艺,我在不到一年训练后就能跑马拉松。这听起来是如此陈腐,和诺曼.文森特.皮尔一样。但谢天谢地它很有效。真的,如果你还没有试过的话,不妨试一试。

5. Kill negative thoughts. 去除消极的想法。

Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. (”C’mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!”)

这一条与上一条是连在一起的,但因为它如此重要,我把它作为单独一项列出来。你必须清楚自己内心的想法,清楚你自己是谁和你在干什么。当我在跑步里,有时我脑海里开始讲:“这太难了,我想停下来,去看电视。”当然,我很快就学会分辨这种内心消极的想法,并学会那个可以改变生活中一切的小窍门:我会想象消极的想法就是一个小臭虫,我会非常警惕的搜查这引起小臭虫。当我抓住一个,我就狠狠跺几脚(当然指精神上的),然后捏碎,杀死它。然后用积极的想法取代它。(“加油,我可能做到的,不过只剩一里而已”)

Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu

知己知彼,百战不殆。-孙子

6. Get to know yourself. 了解你自己。

When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.

在要打仗前,最聪明的将军会将敌人了解得一清二楚。如果你不了解你的敌人,你是无法战胜它的。当你试图战胜消极的个人形象,变得自信些话,你的敌人就是你自己。好好了解你知道,开始聆听你的想法,开始编写关于自己和自己想法的日志,分析你产生这些消极的想法。然后想想关于自己的好的方面,那些你可以做得很好的并且喜欢的事情。开始想想什么你的局限性,并弄清楚是否是真的局限了你,还仅仅是你允许摆放在那里虚假障碍。深深的挖掘自己的想法,最终你会更加自信。

7. Act positive. 积极行动。

More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.

除了要积极思考,你还要付诸行动,事实上,这是发展个人自信的关键。积极思考是一回事,当你开始行动时,你又改变了,所以一次做好一件事情。你所做事情决定了你,当你改变你所做时,你就改变了你自己。用积极方式行动,采取措施而不是仅仅告诉自己你不行,积极一些。用积极的方式与人交谈,精力充沛的行动。要不了多久,你就会发现自己的改变。

8. Be kind and generous. 友好且慷慨。

Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me.

噢,太老土了。如果这对你来说太老土的话,继续前进。但你应该知道,对别人友好,慷慨于你自己、你的时间和你所拥有的,是改善你自我形象的非常好的方法。你遵从黄金准则行事,你将自我感觉良好,认为自己是个很好的人。相信我,它会对你的自信产生奇迹般的效果的。

One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe

成功的关键是自信,自信的关键是有所准备。——阿瑟·阿什

9. Get prepared. 时刻准备好。

It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you’re prepared, and you’ll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself.

如果你不知道你会做好某件事,那么自信会很困难。尽可能把自己准备好,来击退不自信的想法。想想正在考试:如果你没有学习,你会不相信自己有能力考好试。但如果你学好了,准备好了,你就会有信心多了。现在,你把生命当作考试,准备好你自己。

10. Know your principles and live them. 明白自己的原则,并实践它们。

What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major exception being to “Live my Passion”). Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don’t act on them.

你的生活是建立在怎样的原则之上的?如果你不知道,就会比较麻烦,因为你的生将活毫无方向感而言。对于我自己,我一直遵从黄金准则(常常失败)。它是我最基本的原则,我试图遵从黄金准则来生活。我也有其它的原则,但大部分都和黄金准则有关的(“充满激情的生活”例外)。多想想你的原则……你可能有这些原则,但很少去思考它们。现在想想你是否遵守这些原则,还是仅仅相信它们,却很少采取行动。
11. Speak slowly. 说话慢些。

Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don’t feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, don’t take it to an extreme, but just don’t sound rushed either.

很简单的事情,但对于别人如何理解你时,就有很大的区别了。领导和有权威的人说话比较慢,这显示出一种自信。那些觉得自己的话不值得听的人说话会很快,因为他们不想让别人等着听些没有价值的东西。即使你没有觉得那些说话慢的人自信,你也试几次,它会让人更加自信。当然也不要说得过慢,只要不像是在急冲冲的毫无考虑地说话就可以了。

12. Stand tall. 昂首站着。

I have horrible posture, so it will sound hypocritical for me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who stand tall and confident are more attractive. That’s a good thing any day, in my book.

我的站姿很难看,所以我给这种建设显得有些假惺惺日,但我知道它对增强自信有作用,我常常尝试。当我告诉自己站得直直的,昂起头来,自我感觉会好很多。我想象有一根绳子把我的头往上吊着,我身体的其它部分就跟着直了起来。另外,昂首挺胸站着的人更迷人。在我的书里,这无论在什么时候都一件好事情。

13. Increase competence. 增强能力。

How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and the practice will increase your competence.

如何才能让觉得自己能干呢?变得更能干。如何才能做到那一点?每次一点点,不继的学习和练习。比如,如果你想成为一个出色的作家,不要一次性就想全面应对那些专业写作问题,只要多写一点,多在杂志、博客上写些短小的故事,自由写作。你写得越多,就会写得越好。比如,每天花30分钟去写作,这种练习会不断增加你的能力。

14. Set a small goal and achieve it. 设定小的目标,然后去实现它。

People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

人们总是想飞向月球,当他们失败后,就会感觉到挫折,人们在这里犯了个错误。相反的,人们应该争取那些更容易完成的事情。设定一个你知道你可以完成的目标,然后完成它,你会因此感觉良好。接着设定另一个小目标并完成它。你完成的小目标越多,你在这方面就越强,你的感觉也会越好。后来,你会设定更大的目标(但仍是可以达到的)并去达到它们。

15. Change a small habit. 改变一点小习惯。

Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a million bucks.

并不是说像戒烟这样大的改变,只是一些小小的改变,像记下一些事情,或是每天提前十分钟起床,或是早晨起来时喝一杯水,诸如此类的一些你知道你可能做到的一些小事情。坚持一个月,当你完成的时候,就会仿佛赢了一百万美元般高兴。

16. Focus on solutions. 专注于解决问题。

If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So what’s the solution?

如果你是一个爱抱怨的人,或者总是想着问题的人,那么现在改变你的注意力。专注于解决问题而不是问题本身,这是能够增加自信和发展事业的最好办法。“我很胖,而且又懒。”那么你怎样才能解决呢?“我不能激励我自己!”那么你怎样才能解决它呢?“我没有精力!“那么你怎样才能解决呢?

17. Smile. 微笑。

Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.

另一个陈腐的方法,却很有效。当我微笑时,我立即感觉好多了,也可以让我对别人更友善些。一些小事情之间有着连锁反应,对你的时间和精力来说都是有好处的。

18. Volunteer. 参加志愿活动。

Related to the “be kind and generous” item above, but more specific. It’s the holiday season right now … can you find the time to volunteer for a good cause, to spread some holiday cheer, to make the lives of others better? It’ll be some of the best time you’ve ever spent, and an amazing side benefit is that you’ll feel better about yourself, instantly.

和前面“友好且慷慨”那一项联系起来,但更针对性。现在是假日季节了…你可以花时间为好的事业做些志愿活动,洒播些节日的快乐,让他人的生活更加美好吗?那将是你最好的时光,产生的神奇的效果会立即让你自我感觉良好。

19. Be grateful. 怀着感恩的心。

I’m a firm believer in gratitude, as anyone who’s been reading this blog for very long knows well. But I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image. Read more.

我深信人应怀有感恩的,只要是长期看我博客的人都知道的。我把它写在这里的原因是,感激你现在所在的一切,感激别人给予你的一切,是一件非常谦逊的事情…这也是非常积极而有益的,它可以改变你的自我形象。阅读更多。

20. Exercise. 多锻炼。

Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.

天啊,我几乎把这个列在每个单子上,但如果我把它从单子就去除,又好像在做一件伤害你的事情。锻炼身体成了我几年来感到精力充沛的事情,也一直让我感觉良好。

All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you’ll see benefits. Start the habit.

你只需要一周出去小跑几次,你就会收获其中的益处,开始这种习惯吧。

21. Empower yourself with knowledge. 用知识武装自己。

Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared … by becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident … and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of course, but so are the people around you, people who have done what you want, books, magazines, and educational institutions.

一般来讲,让自己更强大是建立自信的最好方式。你可以采取很多方式来武装自己,但最好的方式是通过掌握知识。增长才干和时刻准备着是同一条思路…变得越来越有见识,你会更加有信心…你能通研究和学习变得更有见识。互联网是一个很棒的工具,当然,也有你的周围也有很多人,他们以前做过你想要做的事情,书籍,杂志和教育机构也是你可以利用的。

22. Do something you’ve been procrastinating on. 做那些你一直拖延的事情。

What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You’ll feel great about yourself.

什么事情一直在你要去做的事情的表单上呢?那么在早晨首先完成,解决掉,你将感觉良好的。

23. Get active. 活跃起来。

Doing something is almost always better than not doing anything. Of course, doing something could lead to mistakes … but mistakes are a part of life. It’s how we learn. Without mistakes, we’d never get better. So don’t worry about those. Just do something. Get off your butt and get active — physically, or active by taking steps to accomplish something.

做点事情总是比什么都不做要好。当然,做事情就可以犯错误…但犯错也是我们生活的一部分,这是我们学习的方式。不犯错误,我们就无法进步,所以不要再担心犯错误,去做些事情就好了。站起来,活跃起来…从行动上,或者采取步骤去完成什么事情。

24. Work on small things. 做些小事情。

Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a self-confident maniac.

每个人都害怕和畏惧去做一个巨大的工程或承担重要任务,即使最出色的人都如此。相反,我们要学会把这些大块事情打碎,一小点一小点的完成。小的成就会让你感觉良好,累积起来就是一个大的成就。一直要学着这样工作,不用多久,你就会变成非常自信的狂人。

25. Clear your desk. 清理你的桌面。

This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control. It is the calm in the center of the storm around me. Here’s how.

这可能看上去是一件非常简单的小事(再整理一次对有些人来说可能就不是那么小的事情了)。它总能给我带来惊奇的效果。如果我的桌子变得乱七八糟,我所在世界也仿佛杂乱无章。清理我的桌面是我控制我生活的点滴的方法。这里是如何去做。

Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.

——Walt Disney

有时我会想,什么样的高度会吓退那些懂得如何将梦想成真的诀窍的人呢。对我来讲,这些特别的诀窍可以总结为四个C,他们是curiosity(好奇心),confidence(自信),courage(勇气),and constancy(坚持),它们中,最重要的是confidence(自信)。当你相信一件事情时,完完全全的相信它,直接的,毫无疑问的相信。 ——沃乐特·迪士尼

Kim C. Jin

Kim C. Jin

Hello, my name is Kim, from Shuren University. I can speak English, Chinese of course, and Japanese. 私は 超超 と申します、25歳の会社員 です。趣味は運転することと山登りです。一番好きな言葉は一期一会。よろしくお願いします。

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